Lydia was a flight attendant who caught my eye on vacation. Jules noticed and teased me about it, which was the tap that cracked our union and sent me running away. I thought we were all committed to each other, but Jules and John had a much more casual view of things. I overreacted, but in the process discovered that I was willing to beg for Lydia to hurt me as a way of masking my own internal torments."What would you like to know? I'll tell you anything you want if you think it would help."He turned to look at me. "I'm afraid to ask what happened." It's scary for me, too."He took a deep breath. "So tell me." I was hurting inside. I felt foolish for believing you both wanted the same things I did out of our relationship. What was really foolish was assuming you did without actually talking to you both about it. When I went to the bar I had no idea Lydia was even there. I ordered a Cape Cod and was planning on drinking the pain away for a while. We had just been talking about her in. My 49-year-old buxom aunt (on my mother’s side) had lost her lousy husband who was an alcoholic. She lived in a shabby chawl system society and had no children out of her grotesque marriage.The only visitor my aunt had was an old lady with whom she would chat over other people’s business. Sometimes I eavesdropped on their conversation and found that it was about scandalous affairs.I started having pervert thoughts over my aunt from the things I had heard her say to the old lady. I thought it would be inappropriate to take advantage of her hospitality, so I distracted my mind by chatting with friends.Every day my childhood friends and I would talk about several things happening in the world. After a few days of regular chat sessions, one of my friends stopped sending messages.When I had thought that something bad must have happened to him, he came back in the chat group with a wonderful discovery. It turned out that he was so involved with his discovery that he even forgot about his.
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